Where all Families are Holy

On the Passing of Barbara Joan Fuhrwerk 1933-2026

Vickie Schmidt

September 19, 2026

I’m not sure how to eulogize a woman like Barbara Fuhrwerk. She means so much to so many people. Living to the blessed age of 93 multiplied the love she embodied for her family and friends, and we saw that love come right back to her in her final days. What an inspiration it has been to see your love for Barb during your visits, both at home and at Springfield Suites. I know the staff at Springfield Suites. was thinking, who is this woman?! We all made an unspoken commitment not to let her make this journey alone. Mother Teresa of Calcutta would often say, “My prayer for you is my gratitude for you.” Your gratitude for Barb has been so visible, and your presence here today speaks volumes. My friends, WE ARE HERE FOR WORK!” Many of you know the story behind this. Barb started every school year with this on the chalkboard. My name is Miss Fuhrwerk, and we are here For Work! From the moment I first met Barb, 24 years ago, I knew she was someone I wanted to get to know. We had a mutual interest in Richard Rohr. Before long, I knew she carried a bright light in those blue eyes, along with deep faith, a quick wit, a beautiful joie de vivre, an abundantly loving heart, and deep compassion.

Born in Buffalo, a small town east of Springfield. The family moved to Springfield after a time and settled on Stanford Avenue, where she spent the remainder of her childhood. She attended Cathedral Grade School, then Ursuline Academy, and spent her Senior year at Sacred Heart Academy with the Dominican Sisters. Clearly, her Senior year at Sacred Heart impacted Barb, as she decided to enter the Novitiate soon after graduation. She spent the next 20 years in the community and began her 47-year teaching career. Barb loved to tell the story of how she was asked to be the principal of St. Dominic’s School. She responded, “But we don’t have a school in Quincy?” “Well, we do now,” Sr. Jeremiah replied. Barb would be opening the school for the first time as a new principal. She was astounded by that, and a little bit freaked out! She had so many stories from those six years in Quincy. The pastor loved army surplus bargains, which brought a battleship light to the front of the school and a pickup load of stuff you use to throw on vomit. She told him, “If the kids throw up that much, I’m out of here!” In 1971, Barb discerned that she should leave the Dominican Sisters. She wanted to continue her teaching career. That was a difficult transition for Barb. She was always grateful to the Dominican Sisters for providing her advanced education. The Dominican Sisters and the friends she taught with throughout her career have remained among her closest friends. Barb liked to share the story of driving to Springfield to speak to Sr. Jeremiah about leaving the community. She was so nervous. While she was sitting with Sister, the New Madrid fault decided to shake things up with an earthquake! Imagine! After a long pause, Barb reconnected with the Dominicans by becoming a Dominican Associate in 1993. Recently, Sr. Joan Sorge, OP shared with me that she went back to Barb’s file to see what she shared in her application. She stated, in her letter to Sr. Rose Miriam, asking to be an Associate: “I suppose one cannot, in the ‘material’ sense, rejoin that which one has never truly left. However, for the sake of propriety and the structure of the Associate program, I am requesting to reconnect with the Springfield Dominicans in a special way to unite my work and heart and spirit with yours.” When asked, as an Associate, if she felt her association with the sisters was life-giving, she responded: “Can I change that to “life-getting? My contacts affirm me constantly in a positive manner.”

Barb was a devotee of Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM. He was her master teacher. She and Mary first went to Albuquerque the year she retired. She didn’t want to be home when school started. This was before Rohr became globally known. She had latched on to him through his early books via Sr. Pauletta. Those who know Barb understand how important he was to her and her ongoing faith formation. Perhaps you too received his signature book, Everything Belongs, from her. I wonder how many copies she handed out?! We often called her the head of his Midwest marketing team. She cherished a personal note he sent to her a few years ago. In fact, cleaning out her desk and dresser, I found two extra copies. She was always ready for a handout!

To know Barb is to know her amazing family, who have loved her for a lifetime and helped to care for her through these last years of decline. Especially Cathy, Paula, Katie, Shelley, and her cousin, Trish. What a privilege it has been to walk this journey with you to provide for all of Barb’s needs. Amazing what love calls us to be in times like this. Barb’s passing marks the end of her generation; the new matriarchs now arise! The whole family will be home for Thanksgiving and will gather for a memorial Mass at Sacred Heart Convent on Nov. 25^th. Everyone is welcome then too. Barb was deeply impacted by Emma’s death in 2023. The poem Epitaph, read at Emma’s funeral, will be read soon at Barb’s request by her goddaughter, Bethany Collins.

The Holy Family community became Barb’s Holy Family. Her love and commitment were stellar. She always came home after Saturday night services elevated and joyful. All of your relationships, every one of you, gave Barb such a deep sense of belonging and inclusion.

Here are just a few stories we can tell about Barb.

Not long after I moved in with Barb (2014), she purchased a tree from Pleasant Nursery. When I asked where she was going to plant it, she said, “I’m going to sneak over to the neighbor’s yard and plant it beside our yard so that we will eventually have some shade on the deck.” We had just cut down an old sweet gum tree. The house was vacant and for sale. Ben Reynolds happened to stop by and was her partner in crime, helping her dig the hole. The new owners later asked why she was always watering their tree! She told them it just looked thirsty, but after she got to know them, she shared the story, and we had a good laugh.

When Barb retired from teaching in Chatham, they held a party to celebrate her teaching career, and, of course, she had to be roasted; there were just too many great stories to share. One notable story was the time she sat down to unpack her lunch with other teachers. As she unpacked her lunch, she pulled a beer out of the sack but didn’t notice it until someone called her out. She thought she grabbed a Coke. She never lived that one down!

During an assembly at school one day, a hypnotist was the presenter that day. During the program, certain people in the audience had agreed to be hypnotized, and Barb was one of them. As the program went on, it was time for Barb to stand up and shout, “WHO FARTED!” And she didn’t believe she could be hypnotized! According to Aimee Fiaush, the laughter in the gym was off the charts!

Barb’s infectious personality touched everyone she met. When she joined Theresians International and began traveling with me, she immediately made friends around the globe. She met Theresians, women just like us, throughout the U.S., Ghana, the Philippines, and Thailand. In 2007, she joined me on a trip to Thailand, the Philippines, and India. During our visit to Kolkata, we visited the Home for the Dying, where Mother Teresa started her ministry in 1955. I tell this one story because it was one of the few times the English teacher was ever speechless. The sisters were caring for a woman who had been left to die on the street. Rats had chewed on her feet as she lay dying. Yes, that is life for the poor in Kolkata. Just as we walked into the women’s section, the sisters were debriding the wounds on her feet. Two sisters gently held the woman from behind, and two worked on her feet. It was an emotional moment witnessing the loving care for this dear woman by the sisters, and all I could think of was the Pietà, Mary holding Christ. Barb and I were standing next to each other, and when we finally looked at each other, her big blue eyes were filled with tears. We processed this profound moment many times. Later that day, we visited a large orphanage in Kolkata. The sisters asked us to hold the babies, as they were starved for human touch, there were so many. The toddlers latched onto us with vice-grip tenacity. When it was time to leave, two sisters had to pry a crying three-year-old baby from Barb’s leg. This visit to Kolkata was life-changing for Barb at age 74.

Mary Keldermans recently reminded Barb that soon, she would be with Emma, Fran, and so many loved ones. Barb responded from her semi-comatose state, “I’m usually a little afraid of going to places I’ve never been before.”

Of course, these few stories are just a small sampling of Barb’s life. She was a lifelong learner who never stopped pursuing and deepening her spiritual life. Early this year, she asked me to find her Dominican Rosary, which was stored in her desk. She kept it close at home in the last months, and it was near her bed at the nursing home. The day that she passed away, eight visitors were gathered in her room, and we prayed her rosary together.

Living a long life and passing away at age 93 is not a tragedy; it is evidence of a life well lived… of a life infused with love, kindness, and generosity. Thank you, Barb, for showing us how to love with abandon, for reminding us that laughter, especially at ourselves, is the best remedy for almost everything, and that this life is meant to be lived up to our last breath. She said recently, “I just want my life to have been a blessing to my family and friends .” Well done, good and faithful servant. You get an A+!

If we can summarize Barb’s life into two words, she would be happy to hear us say, EVERYTHING BELONGS! Everything in every life, all the joy and the sorrow, belongs, and when our lives end, we can look back and know with confidence that indeed our lives are filled with everything that belongs. Barb was one who knew what she wanted, and wanted what she knew.

RIP our dear beloved Aunt Barb, and our dear, dear friend.

From Sirach 6:14-16 (from Sr. Joan Sorge, OP)

“A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; she who finds one has found a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price; no sum can balance her worth. A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy such as she who fears God finds.”

The Loved Ones – read by Bethany Collins, Barb’s Goddaughter

By Wendell Berry (RIP Aug. 31, 2026)

The loved ones we call the dead depart from us and for a while are absent.

And then as if called back by our love, they come near us again.

They enter our dreams.

We feel they have been near us when we have thought of them.

They are simply here, simply waiting while we are distracted among our obligations.

At last it comes to us:

They live now in the permanent world.

We are the absent ones.

Epitaph by Merrit Malloy – read by Bethany Collins

Prayed at Emma Shafer’s funeral in 2023

When I die give what’s left of me away

to children and old men that wait to die.

And if you need to cry,

cry for your brother walking the street beside you.

And when you need me, put your arms around anyone

and give them what you need to give me.

I want to leave you something,

something better than words or sounds.

Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved,

and if you cannot give me away,

at least let me live in your eyes and not in your mind.

You can love me most by letting hands touch hands,

and by letting go of children that need to be free.

Love doesn’t die; people do.

So when all that’s left of me is love,

give me away.